The Business of Family - Episodes Tagged with “Coach”

Ashok Melwani - Negotiating an Exit From the 4th Generation Family Business [The Business of Family]

Mike Boyd — Mon, 11 Jan 2021 19:00:00 +1000

Ashok Melwani started his career as a teenager, working in his family’s fashion retail stores during the school holidays. In 1982, he joined the business full-time, working his way up from brand manager to an executive director of the 4th generation Indian family business. He's a seasoned entrepreneur with decades of experience in retail, food & beverage and distribution, and now an executive coach.

Ashok is a guide to the road less travelled. His story is a fascinating journey of a struggle to leave the family business and ultimately forge his own path.

Standout Quotes:

"My most disliked few words, 'You should know what to do'." - [Ashok]
"If the CEO of a business is not passionate about a business, he has no business to be the CEO" - [Ashok]
"If the family business is the only thing on your resume, it's not very worthwhile" - [Ashok]
"Crowd brings crowd to a restaurant" - [Ashok]
"Two things I and my wife can never give you as parents, we cannot give you resilience, it only comes from hardship... We cannot give you self esteem, it comes only from achieving your own goals and making a name for yourself" - [Ashok]
"Everybody has a price at which they might do something which is borderline unethical, and the price depends a lot on your socio-emotional background" - [Ashok]
"When one door closes, another door opens.. in order for that to be true, you have to do your part which is don't hang around too long when the door closes" - [Ashok]

Key Takeaways:

Ashok shares that although he wasn't particularly excited to work in the family business, the incentives and knowledge gained made it a perfect introduction to the retail business.
If the family business is the only thing on your resume, it's not very worthwhile, even if you were the MD.
Ashok discloses that following the impact of the Asian financial crisis on his transition out of the family business, he had fallen into depression for close to a year.
If you leave a family business, you don't want to have some small share in the business and start second-guessing whoever is left behind.
Although he had a clean exit, there were effects on the family dynamics at the time, as some family members didn't understand why.
Despite the many setbacks, looking back, there is no doubt that leaving the family business was the right step to take for Ashok.
I have no respect for trust fund kids.
You have a life outside and beyond the business, a lot of entrepreneurs are consumed by their business even when they should be spending time with family.
Ashok admits that based on his experience with his family business, he was not encouraged to start another one involving his children
After interacting with younger family business executive owners, a common notable point was that they were given time to work outside the family business before coming back.
From Ashok to his kids: when one door closes, another door opens, don't wait around too long afterward.

Episode Timeline:

[00:49] Introducing "Ashok Melwani"
[01:56] Ashok narrates how he joined the family business
[02:50] What sort of products was the business offering?
[13:03] Your career with the family business, where did it reach, and what happened next?
[31:32] Ashok explains he had a clean exit from the family business.
[34:00] Would you say that leaving the family was the right decision for you?
[35:04] How is the family business going today?
[36:31] Did you ever try and nurture your children to work with you and create another family business?
[38:28] Ashok's opinion on children inheriting wealth
[40:39] A notable experience that helped shape his journey.
[44:00] What advice would you give to a driven entrepreneur who aspires to be the founding generation of a multi-generational family business?
[44:57] What's your take on generational businesses?
[46:46] My next stage in life involves venturing into Leadership Coaching
[47:35] Ashok's letter to his children

For more episodes go to
BusinessOfFamily.net

Follow Mike on Twitter @MikeBoyd

If you feel it's appropriate, I'd so appreciate you taking 30 seconds to Leave a Review on iTunes, I receive a notification of each review. Thank you!

Special Guest: Ashok Melwani.

Jim & Paul Warner - Successfully Navigating Multi-Generational Family Dynamics [The Business of Family]

Mike Boyd — Mon, 07 Dec 2020 19:00:00 +1000

Jim and Paul Warner work together in multi-generational family dynamics helping all parties establish and sustain authentic, synergistic, relationships.

Paul leads young adult retreats, focusing on authentic relationships, navigating change, and leadership development. He also coaches young adults seeking clarity on their life purpose, mission, and vision, and guides them to take full responsibility for their lives.

Jim’s work has led him to write three books and an audio series based on high achievers’ yearnings for identity, meaning, and connection. He has been married 44 years and enjoys enriching relationships with his wife, their three adult children, and a granddaughter.

Jim and Paul work extensively with Young Presidents’ Organization and Family Business Network Families Worldwide. The last dozen years they have also guided several S.E. Asian families in their quest to establish enduring principles across multiple generations.

Standout Quotes:

"One of the major issues of families of wealth is they make the mistake of insulating the kids from the realities of living outside of the wealth bubble" - [Jim Warner]
"Without being able to experience pain, you cheat people out of the ability to experience joy; I'd like to think of pain and joy as opposite sides of the same coin and if you mute one, you're gonna mute the other" - [Jim Warner]
"If we want our young adult children to step into their sense of destiny, are we modeling that ourselves?" - [Jim Warner]
"If you've worked with one family, you've worked with one family" - [Jim and Paul Warner]
"Introduce a common language within the family so that we can play in these intentional spaces, to stretch towards each other." [Paul Warner]
"Harmony is impossible without the willingness to go into painful discussions" - [Jim Warner]
"If you choose not to discuss the Elephant in the room, you forfeit the right to complain" - [Jim Warner]
"When all parties are willing to play ball, when all parties are willing to take responsibility, we'll often say "right now this family has 600% responsibility" each of you takes 100% responsibility for what is within your control." [Paul Warner]
"Love is unconditional, relationships are not" - [Jim Warner]

Key Takeaways:

Jim explains the need to distinguish supporting and protecting, from enabling, because oftentimes families blur those lines.
Mike and Jim agree that being insulated from the rest of the world does not necessarily protect wealthy children but may do more harm than good.
Governance structures are secondary to parental modeling of core values.
Rather than jumping right into getting the kid fit for succession, the key thing a parent should ask is "How do I help my young adult find their own passion in life?"
Jim highlights 3 key steps to balancing being a nurturing parent while not enabling children: Active listening, Allowing children to face disappointment, and Guiding them to take responsibility for their lives.
Many professionals who go into a family environment have a relatively small toolbox; if all you've got is a hammer, the whole world looks like a nail.
Harmony is about truth-telling, it's not about being nice to one another
Jim stresses that the goal of discussing the painful topics (the elephant in the room) is the potential of having an authentic family relationship as opposed to a transactional family relationship
If a sense of self-awareness is instilled into children, then when they're adults you can have mature transformational discussions as a family, but without it, the children may never grow up.
The components of the "Trust" that sets elders apart: Credibility, Reliability, Honesty, Vulnerability and Adaptability.
There are two ways life happens; life can happen to me where I'm the victim, or life can happen by me where I'm a creator and I create my own options
Life is a journey and the important things take time; part of that journey will be your individual discovery and deeper understanding and connection with yourself.
Don't change, I love you just the way you are

Episode Timeline:

[00:50] Mike briefly introduces both Jim and Paul Warner, and they share some of their background stories
[04:45] Paul describes the impact of his father in his eventual choice of profession
[07:22] What are some of the challenges that you've seen for parents raising motivated and happy children amidst wealth?
[13:47] What role do you think formal governance structures play in shaping strong family values and bonds?
[17:05] Paul's definition of the rising generation, describing the common dynamic between them and the older generation.
[20:25] How do you help people identify their own path and whether or not they're fit for succession?
[22:46] How Paul got into the family business
[28:02] Jim describes how a parent can be welcoming and nurturing without enabling the children
[29:55] The approach to working with different families
[33:45] 13 guidelines for authentic interactions in any environment
[39:10] Discussing the "Elephant in the room"
[51:37] What sets an elder apart with respect to the ability to influence the success of a family?
[01:00:06] From Paul to his kids
[01:01:07]From Jim to his kids

For more episodes go to
BusinessOfFamily.net

Follow Mike on Twitter @MikeBoyd

If you feel it's appropriate, I'd so appreciate you taking 30 seconds to Leave a Review on iTunes, I receive a notification of each review. Thank you!

Special Guests: Jim Warner and Paul Warner.

Jonathan Goldhill - 4th Generation Inheritor, Coach & Author of Disruptive Successor [The Business of Family]

Mike Boyd — Mon, 30 Nov 2020 19:00:00 +1000

Jonathan Goldhill is an Experienced Coach to Entrepreneurs and Family-Owned Businesses. He states that the dwindling chances of multigenerational success are due in large part to the issues unique to family businesses that are often wrapped up in a tightly woven knot of unspoken plans.

In his new book DISRUPTIVE SUCCESSOR, Jonathan offers a proven framework and playbook for unwinding this knot, scaling up your business or planning your exit.

Standout Quotes:

"Perhaps all multi-generational businesses should have a family constitution, while we're naming secretaries and treasurers... why not name a historian?" – [Jonathan Goldhill]
"There's no evil to money... it's the absence of instilling good values as to what the significance of that money means" – [Jonathan Goldhill]
"There's a requirement of the older generation that if they're going to leave money to a younger generation that they provide some guardrails around it" – [Jonathan Goldhill]
96% of all business in the US are under a million dollars in revenue, and 64% of the GDP in the US is coming from family businesses. – [Jonathan Goldhill]
"It takes time for one generation to let go and release and enjoy what they've built, and trust the next generation to grow it bigger and do it safely" – [Jonathan Goldhill]
"I'm not in the business of family coaching, I'm in the families doing business coaching" – [Jonathan Goldhill]
The hardest part I think of running businesses is managing the people and getting the right people in your company. – [Jonathan Goldhill]
"There's a time for family, a time for business, and then there's time for the family business or the business of family where they overlap in between" – [Mike Boyd]
"Life is hard work and if you're not working on yourself then nobody else is going to" – [Jonathan Goldhill]

Key Takeaways:

One of the downsides of being wealthy is that wealthy people can be very busy at the expense of spending time with children
Jonathan emphasizes the importance of a family business archive as he explains he does not know exactly how his grandfather's family business was shut down.
The blessing and curse of setting up a trust fund: there's lots of misinterpretation of younger generations when they inherit that wealth
There's a requirement of the older generation that if they're going to leave money to a younger generation that they provide some guardrails around it.
Jonathan explains that there is a generational gap with unspoken conversations between generations, and the families he knows had the best transitions communicated as peers.
Business coaching is not about hitting a mass number of people, it's about the business of the family.
If you're not having important conversations, then you're not building a healthy business.
Hard work isn't always in the form of just long hours and physical toil, it comes from commitment and dedication to improve oneself and be better.

Episode Timeline:

[00:48] Introducing Jonathan Goldhill who shares some history of his grandfather's family business.
[08:09] How exactly did the business end?
[11:57] Jonathan describes one of his attempts at starting a new business and the challenges that effectively impeded the success of the business
[16:08] The impact of wealth on Jonathan growing up
[21:40] How did you take this formative experience from your own family to help other business families through their situations?
[32:50] Who typically engages you; is it more of the successor generation or the boomers who have built the family business and are looking to hand over?
[34:55] About Jonathan's book: "The Disruptive Successor"
[41:10] The role of the different cultures in the family business
[44:50] Defining "Family"
[48:00] A letter from Jonathan to his kids

*For more episodes go to *
BusinessOfFamily.net

Follow Mike on Twitter @MikeBoyd

If you feel it's appropriate, I'd so appreciate you taking 30 seconds to Leave a Review on iTunes, I receive a notification of each review. Thank you!

Special Guest: Jonathan Goldhill.